With the recent passing of Mr. Jack Welch, former chairman and CEO of GE, I thought it a good time to visit the concept of reverse mentoring. Welch informally began the concept in the late 1990s when he required many of his top executives to pair up with younger more junior members to learn this new-fangled technology called “the Internet.” From these humble beginnings, the reverse mentoring concept was born.
I am so fortunate in my leadership role to serve as a mentor to many smart and talented colleagues around the country. I derive much joy when a mentee writes their first article, gives their first speech or enrolls for a degree in small part due to our shared relationship. I enjoy growing the skills and careers of my team. I have also been very fortunate to have wonderful mentors throughout my life, that are still a source of inspiration, wisdom and knowledge. At times it is just a friendly ear to listen and at other times I really need to pick their brain over an issue I may be struggling with. About a year ago, I started a reverse mentor relationship with an early careerist millennial that is advising me on how aspects of my leadership is being received and ways that I can improve. I would like to share some things I learned along the way that has grown this into a mutually beneficial relationship.
• Defined Expectations: We each needed to get clear on what we expected. For example, I expected honesty and authenticity from her, while she expected from me a safe space to tell me what she really felt.
• Agreed upon rules: We agreed together that what is said is mutually confidential. We also agreed that if at anytime we were feeling psychologically unsafe that we would voice that.
• Trust: This is the hardest aspect. I had to show slowly by my actions that she could trust me that I would not hold a grudge and that nothing she shared in coaching me would be held against her. I did this slowly over time by valuing what she said, showing change, and thanking her for the great feedback both at the time and later once I had a chance to sit with it.
• Curiosity: We spent some time talking about and committing to each other that we would be very curious in probing deeper on issues that we bring up.
• Not an informant: This is not time for me to grill her to tell me any deep dark secrets in the department. She is not the department spy, or to tell me who is saying what.
So, what are the benefits that I have gotten from this relationship? It has really helped me close the knowledge gap on both sides in the constraints or reasons I may have for not taking a particular course of action. It has also empowered and challenged her to think differently and really makes her feel that she has a voice. It has also enabled me to share what I have learned within my team to hopefully make others better also. I have learned much about social media from her, such as the emergence of TikTok (no you will not find any dance videos of me out there). She taught me much about the perspectives of younger employees that work is meant to support and enable the other aspects of life outside of work and that work-life balance is important and to be cherished.
As a result of this relationship, I feel I show up differently as a leader in the following ways.
• Delegate with more purpose: I have started to be much clearer when delegating and explaining why I think this is a good task to delegate and being very clear what success looks like. When I was maturing in my career, you just did what your boss told you and you didn’t question why. Reverse mentoring has helped me see that performance is better when one knows exactly why they are doing a task and what it looks like to do it well.
• Don’t make faces: Unfortunately, I have a bad habit of showing my annoyance or displeasure in my face. She has been working hard with me to change that, but I am a slow learner in this regard. We have worked out a little signal that she will sometimes give me if we are in a meeting together, a sort of mind your face warning. Body language and facial expression matters.
• Don’t be quick to say what you think: I have learned to hold off on giving solutions; even proposed solutions. She taught me that no matter how much I might say, “it’s just an idea and I want to hear what other people think,” if I say it then others will just agree. Instead I have been just laying out the problem or purpose of the meeting spending some time discussing and getting agreement on the problem and then just asking for thoughts on strategies to solve it.
Overall, I highly recommend putting some effort and purpose into finding a good reverse mentor from your more junior staff or someone from your network. It has really challenged me and oftentimes made me uncomfortable, but growth is uncomfortable.
Mario Pistilli, CRA, MBA, FACHE, FAHRA, is administrative director for imaging and imaging research at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles. He is an active member and volunteers time for ACHE and HFMA organizations. He is currently serving on the AHRA national Board of Directors. He can be contacted at mpistiili@chla.usc.edu
