By Manny Roman, CRES
I meticulously accumulated notes to write this column a week ago. They were carefully commingled with all the other documents, papers, candy wrappers and such on my desk. The candy wrappers are still here. The notes went the way of the socks in the dryer.
To make matters worse, since the mind is the second or third thing to go, I don’t remember what the main topic was. Then, I realized that I am not going to worry about it. I can’t find the notes so move on to this new topic which is very appropriate to the issue.
When I was much younger, a long time ago, I did not worry about things much. My attitude was that things will work themselves out and if not, then that was the way they were meant to be. I believed that if you wait long enough, most things will diminish in importance and damage. Obviously some, but not all, items required attention, however.
Most thought I was just lazy and others thought I just did not care. This attitude drove many of those around me nuts. They misinterpreted my attitude. Then, I was drafted by Uncle Sam. Nothing like the threat of jail time to correct some of the previous ways of thoughts and actions. This attitude adjustment began with a drill sergeant who was fond of saying, “I’m trying to hep yah, sh**head.” The military has a way of providing the opportunity to obtain a good work ethic and stay out of jail.
After 10 years of successfully avoiding jail, I exited the military and entered the civilian world. So, in middle life I inherited a relatively foreign environment. I worried my butt off about things. I had trouble accepting that things were the way they were and that my influence on things was limited by the constraints and objectives placed upon me. I wanted to be in “control of my destiny.” I worked hard at making things happen. I survived middle life and business relatively unscathed.
Interestingly, in middle life, I noticed that the young did not seem to worry about anything and I felt that they were lazy and did not care.
Now I am much older and arguably wiser. I just don’t worry about things that I have no control over. I believe that if you wait long enough, most things will diminish in importance and damage. Although some things will still need to be addressed in a timely manner their number is relatively small.
I subscribe to a couple of wise rules.
“If things cannot be accepted, they must be changed. If things cannot be changed, they must be accepted.”
“What is the worst that can happen?” If you can accept the worst, then maybe it is not so bad after all.
Implementing the above two “rules” causes a wonderful calmness.
Why go around in life stabbing at things in an attempt to demonstrate activity? Work on the things that are important and urgent, while keeping an eye on the others. Isn’t it better to do a few right things correctly? Sleep on it to see if it is still as important tomorrow.
I mostly live by this rule now: “If something is not worth doing right, it may not be worth starting in the first place.”
Think about the great wisdom in this statement. Of course, people tend to misinterpret my attitude again. I am not lazy or uncaring. I’m conservative and frugal with my efforts. My story. I’m sticking with it. Can’t be changed. Accept it.
Manny Roman, CRES, is association business operations manager at Association of Medical Service Providers.
