By Daniel Bobinski
Stress is part of life. Whether you’re leading a team, raising a family, or managing a project, stress finds its way into the equation. But is stress always a villain?
Like most things in life, the answer is nuanced. Stress can be both a catalyst for growth and a recipe for disaster, depending on how we manage it.
The Upside: Stress Isn’t Always Bad
First, let’s acknowledge that not all stress is harmful. In fact, stress can be downright beneficial. If we want to become stronger or get toned up, our muscles must experience some level of stress. Pushups, pullups, running and walking all create stress on our muscles, but the result is better health.
Also, to become responsible adults, children must learn to deal with deadlines and established standards, lest they become lazy and spoiled. In the workplace, obstacles before us can be considered stressful, but those situations serve as catalysts for becoming inventive and resourceful. And, learning from mistakes helps us build confidence and adaptability, enabling us to tackle future challenges.
The Downside: When Stress Becomes Destructive
On the other hand, chronic or excessive stress can wreak havoc on both our physical and mental health. Prolonged exposure to stress hormones can suppress our immune systems, disrupt our sleep and even lead to an increased risk of heart disease. Mentally, stress can lead to burnout and anxiety, plus other issues that sap our motivation and cloud our judgment.
In the workplace, stress can erode morale and fracture team cohesion, and stress-filled workplaces often experience high turnover and reduced productivity. Left unchecked, stress creates a toxic environment that stifles innovation.
Thus, with stress having both pros and cons, our goal should not be to eliminate stress, but to manage it.
Identifying the Stress Continuum
In reality, when we use the word “stressed,” what we really mean is we sense our control starting to slip away. Think about it:
- We can’t get the computer software to do what we want. We’re losing control of our workday, but we say we’re stressed.
- We have employees with clashing personalities who are causing workplace problems. We sense we’re losing control, but we say the employees are causing us stress.
- We have burdensome new state regulations for our industry and work now seems overwhelming. Privately, we’re sensing a loss of control, but publicly we say we’re stressed.
In other words, we use the word “stressed” because saying we’re experiencing a loss of control doesn’t exactly inspire confidence or command respect.
Before I continue, I want to emphasize that differences exist among the categories of stress. We can experience basic stress, chronic stress, and depression. As I mentioned, a modicum level of stress in our lives is healthy, but left unchecked, chronic stress can really take its toll. And if “stress” is the publicly acceptable way to say we’re feeling a loss of control, “depression” occurs when we sense we’ve lost control altogether.
That’s an overly simplistic description, but I wanted to point out that unmanaged chronic stress is a common path to depression. I used to believe that sheer willpower was enough to overcome depression, but speaking from personal experience of 20 years ago, I found that depression often requires a time of medication to address the reuptake of dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain.
Therefore, if you think you’re dealing with chronic stress or depression, a visit to a doctor about the issue is definitely recommended. There is no shame in it. There is nothing wrong with you. The real you is fine. It’s just that if chronic stress has you bordering on depression, it’s the switches in our brains that need attention, that’s all. Full blown depression can be accompanied by feelings of overwhelming helplessness, and nobody needs that.
Managing Stress
The above being said, let’s return to addressing the issue of regular stress. Allow me to lean on the writings of the late Dr. William Glasser. In his writings on “Control Theory,” Glasser said our actions affect our thoughts, our thoughts affect our feelings, and our feelings affect our physiology. Therefore, to head off reaching a level of chronic stress or depression (a physiological response to feeling out of control), when stress starts to emerge, we can prevent unnecessary problems if we can catch hold of our thought patterns early enough.
To do that, it helps to know that everything in our lives can be placed in one of four zones.
- Things happening about which we have no concern
- Things about which we have concern, but no influence or control
- Things we are concerned about and have some influence over, but little direct control
- Things over which we have both control and influence plus a great deal of control
Organizational psychologist Elaine Pulakos supports this categorization through her research on adaptive performance. She says, “Employees who can distinguish between controllable and uncontrollable aspects of challenging situations demonstrate greater resilience and lower stress levels.”
This begs the question: What do you have control over? Why should we find the answer to this question? Because to minimize unhealthy stress, we should direct our energy onto things over which we have control. For example:
- When facing tight deadlines, rather than focusing on an immovable end date (no control), we can direct our energy toward optimizing our workflow and communication (control).
- During organizational restructuring, instead of stressing about decisions coming from the ivory tower (no control, we can concentrate on maintaining quality work and strengthening key relationships (control).
Thus, the key to managing stress is not trying to control everything, but simply identifying those things over which we have direct control and finding satisfaction in focusing our energy on those activities.
Bottom line, the next time you sense your tension levels rising, pause and ask: “In what aspect of this situation can I exercise influence and control?” Our goal should not be to have a stress-free life, but a life in which stress is a tool, not a tyrant.
Daniel Bobinski, Th.D. is the author of the best-selling book “Creating Passion-Driven Teams” and the owner of Workplace Excellence. Also a certified behavioral analyst, Daniel consults and conducts training on workplace effectiveness and leadership development. He can be reached at danielbobinski@protonmail.com or eqfactor.net.
