By Daniel Bobinski
Throughout recorded history, brief phrases packed with truth have been handed down from one generation to the next. As far back as 1500 B.C., the Babylonian Counsels of Wisdom gave us useful guidance such as “Do not say evil things; speak well of people,” and “Reverence begets favor.” A few centuries later, King Solomon added to the treasury with “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger,” and “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” And one of my personal favorites from Solomon is “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”
Stepping forward in time, the Greeks and Romans kept the tradition alive. Aristotle wrote, “Misfortune shows those who are not really friends.” Cicero counseled, “Never go to excess, but let moderation be your guide.” And around 600 B.C., Aesop gave us “Better to be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own.”
Although each of these sayings is just a few words, books could be written around any one of them to expound upon their truths.
One modern joy of these ancient morsels of wisdom is that any of them can also be made into a social media post or be shared as an online meme. While social platforms let us flood the world with insightful axioms, they’re only valuable if we incorporate their truth into our lives.
Thus, we need to do more than read a meme, then nod and say, “Yep, that’s true.” These wisdom morsels become valuable when we consider them in context of our own lives and find ways to apply them.
For example, think about the imagery that accompanies the phrase, “A turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out.” We can learn much from that symbolism. First, it’s a turtle. This means we can make forward progress, even if it’s done slowly. Then, by sticking out our necks, we can equate that to taking calculated risks and moving steadily forward to achieve our goals.
This axiom about the turtle can be paired with other similar sayings, such as “No risk, no reward,” or “Nothing ventured, nothing gained,” or “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” These are all great sayings, but if we don’t leverage their wisdom, we get nothing from them.
Therefore, to really make these axioms useful, we must think back and identify situations in which their concepts helped us move ahead or get out of a predicament. Said another way, the more one can associate any statement of truth with one’s own experiences, the more useful and valuable the statement will be.
Strong associations are best built through two channels – frequency and intensity. In other words, if you can associate an axiom with multiple events in your life, then your brain can make a solid connection with the value of that axiom. A similarly solid connection can be established if you can connect the axiom to an event that held a strong emotion for you.
Over the years, I’ve come up with several of my own truisms to help people succeed. What follows are some of my favorites, along with a bit of explanation to help you find connections with your life experiences.
You’ll go where you’re focused. If you’ve taken a safe driving course, you’ve learned that whatever vehicle you’re driving or riding tends to go in the direction you’re looking. The same principle applies in just about every aspect of life. You will move in the direction of your focus. If you’re looking only at the trouble spots, you’re likely to stumble. But if you’re focusing on potential solutions and paths that lead to success, you’re likely to achieve success. Think about it. When has this been true for you?
Slower up front equals faster down the road. This is a helpful phrase for Type A personalities to memorize. Some people believe that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, but that is not necessarily the case. When dealing with “slower moving people” (about 65% of the population), faster-moving people benefit by slowing down and working with others to create harmony, not pressure.
It’s counterintuitive, but it’s frequently true – moving slower up front often brings faster results! I’m confident that with some thought, you will find situations from your own life that are good examples of this axiom.
Acknowledgment does not equal agreement. Good communication skills include being able to acknowledge someone else’s point of view even if disagreement exists. If you’re like me, you can think of some talk radio hosts you dislike because they fail miserably at this. It’s unfortunate, but many people believe that acknowledging an opposing point of view is the same as agreeing. It’s not true!
Let’s say you believe the moon is made out of blue cheese. I am quite capable of acknowledging your belief in a respectful way without agreeing with you. Think about it. Has anyone ever respectfully acknowledged your point of view even though you knew they didn’t agree with you? If so, hang on to that. The power associated with this axiom will help you be a better communicator.
Only make new mistakes. This saying pairs well with something Theodore Roosevelt once said. “The man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything.” The idea is that everyone makes mistakes. Unfortunately, some people keep making the same mistakes over and over. When have you chosen to learn instead of staying stuck in a rut?
By the way, the principle of learning from mistakes can also be tied to another one of my favorite sayings, “Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment.”
Bottom line, whatever sayings permeate your mind will influence your life. Therefore, knowing that you will go where you’re focused, may I suggest selecting phrases to remember that will guide you in useful, productive ways.
Daniel Bobinski has a doctorate in theology and is a best-selling author and a popular speaker at conferences and retreats. For more than 30 years he’s been working with teams and individuals (1:1 coaching) to help them achieve excellence. He was also teaching Emotional Intelligence since before it was a thing. Reach him by email at DanielBobinski@protonmail.com or 208-649-6400.
