I ran across an article titled “Stop Asking for Feedback” by Amanda Imber on the Harvard Business Review website. I was stunned!
How can you communicate if you remove a most important requirement of good communication? Good communication begins with the telling of the what and the why and then providing what can be expected of the message. Then we must ask for feedback to determine acceptance and or understanding of the message. The feedback is critical to ensure we do not leave behind a misunderstanding or worse allow for an unrealistic expectation.
Feedback is a two-way street in that both parties need to “negotiate” the message back and forth with feedback. I contend that without feedback there is no true communication. Think of an email that is sent with no one providing feedback indicating what was understood. I had five of those today. Each required additional discussion to ensure understanding. One required a phone call to ensure the feedback process was immediate.
Then, I read the article. It does not discuss the feedback process in normal communication. Ms. Imber discusses the instance when you might ask for feedback on a presentation for example. You might want someone to tell you how it went.
She points out that according to research, feedback has little impact on our performance. “Over one-third of the time, it actually negatively impacts performance.” A study at Standard University which analyzed over 200 performance reviews found that compared to men women received feedback less likely to be tied to business outcomes and was more vague and more challenging to implement.
The reason feedback is ineffective is that it looks backward (feedBACK). Feedback is attached to past behavior not related to the future. It is a what went wrong, or not quite right. Therefore, it is not rooted in future positive actions. In a study at Harvard Business School, participants were asked to provide either feedback or advice regarding a job application. Feedback providers gave more vague comments and general praise. Advice providers gave more critical and actionable comments. Advice givers suggested 34% more specific ways to improve and 56% more general ways to improve.
The conclusion is that people who asked for advice are more likely to use critical thinking to provide strategies that the recipient can use to improve. Here are the main points to consider when asking for advice:
Be Specific in The Type of Advice You Are Asking
What specifically are you asking advice on? Are you asking to improve on an idea, a presentation’s content, your communication skills, etc. Rather than asking, “How was my presentation?” Ask, “What can I do to make my points more clear and interesting?”
Show Them the Way
Ask about what can help you in the future to place them in that mindset to elicit more specific and actionable suggestions. Don’t ask what went wrong, ask how to improve in the future. Maybe the suggestions will necessarily take into consideration what went wrong, however it will not be the focus of the advice.
Give a Little Nudge
Do not accept vague and unproductive feedback. Nudge them beyond the “You did great!” Ask specifically what went well and what could be done to take the extra step towards better than great.
Ask the Right Person
Looking for truly valuable and implementable advice, then limit your advice giving pool. Be sure that those you ask will have the knowledge, wisdom and desire to help you improve. Those close to you may not be the correct group for any particular need. Don’t ask your mother for resume writing advice less she meets the knowledge and wisdom requirements.
My advice: Surround yourself with great people both in business and personal matters and be sure to seek specific feedback from the correct group. Or … ask your social media network.
Manny Roman, CRES, is association business operations manager at Association of Medical Service Providers.
