Soooo, I got feedback recently, and while I know the right thing to do is stay quiet and listen to understand … I didn’t. (Sighing heavily as I type this.)
As the conversation went on, I caught myself jumping in explaining my decisions, offering context and trying to paint the full picture.
My intent wasn’t to dismiss anything. I genuinely wanted the other person to know I cared and giving context to the situation.
But even if your intent is good, the impact can still shut people down.
When we respond too quickly, when we rush to justify or clarify, people start thinking:
- “Maybe I shouldn’t bring things up.”
- “It’s not worth the pushback.”
- “They don’t really want to hear it.”
And in a high-stakes environment like a radiology department – where communication directly affects patient flow, safety, morale and efficiency – that’s the last thing any leader wants.
We interrupt not because we’re dismissive, but because we’re operating in “Listening to Respond” mode, your mind is focused on your next statement instead of their actual message.
We’re going to discuss a tiny, two-second habit that breaks this defensive cycle and transforms your impact from dismissive to collaborative.
The Two-Second Pause That Changes Everything
The fundamental truth of handling feedback is this: It’s not about agreeing. It’s about fully receiving what someone is trying to tell you.
When someone gives you feedback, your brain immediately tries to protect your reputation and your decisions. That defensive spark is completely normal especially when decisions are high-stakes and fast-paced.
But a normal reaction doesn’t mean it’s the helpful one.
Before responding, try building in a very small habit: Pause, For two seconds.
This moment gives you space to:
- Calm the instant defensive reaction.
- Stay focused on the speaker and their experience.
- Listen to understand without preparing a rebuttal.
- Absorb the actual message, not just the keywords you need to defend against.
It’s simple, but transformational (trust me on that).
When You Don’t Listen Fully, People Notice
When we rush to clarify or jump in, even the most well-intentioned defense can come across as:
- Invalidating
- Dismissive
- Minimizing
- Corrective
And over time, people naturally step back. They think twice before speaking up. They stop raising concerns that actually matter. The intent may be connection, but the impact becomes distance.
Why Silence Is Sometimes the Best Response
I have been on this journey for improving my listening and have seen the difference. You don’t owe an instant answer to every piece of feedback. That silence isn’t discomfort, it’s maturity.
Thoughtful leaders use the pause to transition into reflection:
“I appreciate you sharing that, let me sit with it before I respond.”
“You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
This shows your team you value their voice more than your need to explain.
That Time I Got Called Out (A Scenario You Know Too Well)
The urge to defend is so strong, even I, the one talking about this, totally failed.
My conversation that started with feedback, I immediately went on the offense. I was explaining, detailing and justifying everything.
My conversational partner had the courage to stop me dead in my tracks and ask the most humbling question a leader can ever hear:
“Are you going to listen?” And um, that was directed a few times as I was really in my trap.
Oof. That was the necessary punch to the gut. It proved my defensive intent was completely ruining my impact.
In that moment, I immediately stopped talking. I used the pause, and though it felt awkward, I simply allowed the conversation to continue, focusing only on receiving their message.
I didn’t try to wrap up the emotional moment right then and there; I just focused on hearing them out. But later that day, I followed up with an email to properly close the loop on that tense moment, showing I had truly reflected:
“Thank you. I want to acknowledge something specific. When you had to ask, ‘Are you going to listen?’ that was a necessary correction. I genuinely appreciate you giving me the opportunity to stop, regroup and hear you out completely. I value your candor and your perspective on this.”
This process, shutting down the defense immediately and then providing reflective acknowledgment later didn’t make me look weak.
It showed my team that I was committed to changing my behavior. It rebuilt the trust I had just broken. It shows that even when you stumble, you can recover and that’s the kind of maturity they respect.
Reflection for the Week
The next time someone gives you feedback, ask yourself:
“Am I listening to understand … or listening to defend?”
And since impact is everything when you’re a leader, challenge yourself with this commitment:
“Am I willing to use the pause, acknowledge my stumble, and demonstrate the maturity that builds trust, even when it feels awkward?”
When people feel genuinely heard, they keep coming back, creating the culture every radiology manager wants: open communication, trust, and continuous improvement.
Your intent may be positive, but your team’s perception is what truly defines your leadership.
Of note, the hardest part isn’t listening; it’s learning to recover when you fail. If you want to discuss strategies for regrouping trust, crafting an authentic apology, or clearly communicating your commitment to change to your team, please reach out. Let’s talk about turning your defensive moments into defining leadership moments. It is a journey, mine about 15 years in the making. •
Nicole Dhanraj is a radiology administrator and workforce strategist focused on military-to-healthcare transition pathways. Radiology leaders interested in exploring this approach are encouraged to connect with her directly at nicoledhanraj@gmail.com.
