By Nicole Dhanraj
I used to think that if I cared about my team, I needed to carry everything. And in imaging, that belief feels pretty justified. Someone calls out and now you’re short. The schedule is packed and then you get add-ons. A scanner goes down at the worst possible time. A staff member is frustrated. A radiologist is waiting. A patient has already been delayed.
You don’t just see those things, you feel responsible for all of them. At least, I did. And for me, that didn’t stop when the day ended. I’d be at home still thinking about a conversation that didn’t go quite right. Replaying a decision I already made. Wondering if I should have handled something differently. Mentally trying to fix tomorrow before it even started.
I told myself that was just part of being a good leader. But I’m realizing something I wish I understood earlier: Caring deeply is not the same as carrying everything. There’s a difference between responsibility and attachment. Responsibility is what helps us show up, make decisions and support our teams. Attachment is what keeps us stuck in the moment long after it’s over. And in a department like ours, where something is always happening, that adds up fast.
It looks like taking one tough interaction and letting it follow you through the rest of your day. Or bringing the weight of a 2 p.m. issue into a completely different conversation at 4 p.m. Or sitting at dinner still thinking about the schedule. That kind of carrying doesn’t help the team. It just drains you.
So, here’s the shift I’ve been working on: Care deeply. Carry less.
Not perfectly. Not all the time. But more intentionally.
A few things that have helped me:
- Pausing and asking, “Is this mine to solve, or am I here to support someone else in solving it?”
- Letting a conversation end when it ends, instead of replaying it for the next six hours
- Catching myself when I start mentally time-traveling into “what if” scenarios that I can’t actually control
None of that means lowering standards or caring less. It just means I’m not absorbing everything as if it’s all mine. Because when I do that, when I stop carrying every piece of the day, I’m actually a better leader. I’m more present in conversations. I listen instead of trying to fix everything mid-sentence. I don’t bring leftover frustration into the next interaction.
And the team can feel that.
They get a version of me that’s steadier, clearer and actually available. I’m still figuring this out. There are still days I catch myself replaying conversations or thinking about work when I’d rather be anywhere else. But I’m getting better at noticing it and letting it go sooner.
Because this matters more than I realized.
When I carry everything, I’m not as present. And when I’m not present, I’m not leading at my best. In a department where every decision, every interaction, and every handoff counts. That has real impact.
My team doesn’t need me to carry everything. They need me to be clear. They need me to be steady. They need me to be here.
So that’s the shift I’m holding onto: Care deeply. Carry less.
And lead in a way that makes space for better decisions, stronger teams and a version of this work that’s actually sustainable.
Nicole Dhanraj, is a radiology administrator and workforce strategist focused on military-to-healthcare transition pathways. Radiology leaders interested in exploring this approach are encouraged to connect with her directly at nicoledhanraj@gmail.com.
