By Manny Roman
In the August issue of ICE magazine, I wrote “Expert Body Language” about being surprised at an individual because of his lack of discomfort during an interview. He was being interviewed regarding his firsthand knowledge of, and interaction with, extraterrestrial (ET) beings. I surmised that he was telling the truth, he actually believed it or had extraordinary nonverbal control. I also said, “Some say that within five minutes you can evaluate people with 70% accuracy, which means that the other 30% can get you in much trouble.”
As I was searching for a topic for this month’s column, I came across an old commentary I wrote a long time ago. In a previous life, 10 or so years ago, I wrote comments on stuff which I called “Manny’s Moans.” (I searched for the title and found a couple of stragglers, if you have interest … https://1technation.com/search/Manny’s/.)
The Moan was regarding a topic similar to the August column mentioned above. The title of the Moan was “Fresh Squeezed People.” Here it is:
“When you squeeze an orange, what do you expect to get? ‘Why, orange juice, of course,’ you say. That is absolutely correct. If you got hummus from squeezing an orange, you would be taken by surprise. Since you know what oranges are, it is easy to predict what will come out of a good squeeze. Oranges don’t get the option to change their appearance, such as painting themselves yellow like a lemon.
People, on the other hand, are different. People can, sometimes too easily, change their appearance. They can and do change what they project to the world. It is difficult to know what is truly inside people. Is there good, bad, honor, integrity, greed, cowardice, courage, etc.? Under normal circumstances, people can ooze whatever they wish to present to you. It is fairly easy to ooze friendship, honor, even love or whatever will create the desired perception in others. Oozing is slow so it can be controlled.
Only when someone is squeezed does the real inside stuff come out. Under the pressure of a squeeze, the stuff must come out without having the benefit of being controlled and modified. The squeeze could come from a significant emotional event such as a truly unexpected, and threatening event. A true surprise may also provide a good squeeze.
You want to know what’s inside a person? Watch what happens when the pressure is on. Stand back. Often what comes out will be smelly, slippery and brown.”
Regarding the August article about the ET guy, I may have been duped by his apparent veracity. The interviewer was very supportive and encouraging. She also believed, so there existed a mutually sympathetic encounter. Therefore, it is quite possible that the “softball” interview and the camera angles provided no threats to the ET guy. He was never given a squeeze. He was allowed to ooze whatever he wanted to present to make his case. Also, the expected audience would have been predisposed to belief in the subject matter.
So, the takeaway from this should be that if the presenter is not given the occasional squeeze, credibility might be suspect. If you want the truth, you have to squeeze. How is that accomplished? It is more than merely asking questions. You must dig deep for additional information. A good presenter will have anticipated and prepared to answer a minimum of 10 questions. A few prepared and unexpected questions will provide squeezes that will allow you to see beyond the words. Get in the habit of squeezing people and your life will be easier, more lonely, but easier with a mixture of brown and smelly.
Manny Roman, CRES, is association business operations manager at Association of Medical Service Providers.
