By Daniel Bobinski
A few months ago, I watched a leader roll out a new idea to his team. His presentation was engaging, and the concept came across as doable. But then a bold senior manager spoke up, saying, “Before this gets launched, how will we compensate our staff members for handling the extra load? Also, I can see how customers might misunderstand this. What will we do if the first month goes badly?”
As you might imagine, the room got rather quiet.
At first, those questions felt negative, but an open dialogue ensued. After a few minutes, it became obvious the manager had done everyone a favor. He was not being difficult; he was being useful.
That moment reminded me of something I have believed for years. Wise people do not build their lives around applause; they build their lives around truth.
Good advisers help us see what we cannot see on our own. Great advisers do even more. They expose our blind spots, allowing us to take action to prevent getting caught off guard.
We see this principle everywhere. Companies have boards of directors. Athletes have coaches. Authors have editors. Surgeons work with teams, checklists and systems designed to catch what one person working alone might miss.
In other words, successful people do not depend solely on their talent. They depend on input as well as challenging questions from people who care. A simple word for it is accountability.
Our country’s 16th president, Abraham Lincoln, understood this. Rather than surrounding himself with people who simply agreed with him, he brought strong-minded people with diverse opinions into his cabinet. They often disagreed, sometimes sharply, but their honesty gave him better information and sharper perspective.
Had Lincoln surrounded himself with nothing but yes-men, it’s doubtful he would have led as effectively as he did.
The Value of Disagreement
Agreement may feel pleasant, but it is not always helpful. Sometimes the most valuable voice in the room is the one who’s willing to say, “Wait a minute. Have we thought this all the way through?”
That idea comes straight from an ancient proverb: “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.”
Years ago, I served on the board of a nonprofit organization. There were about 14 of us, and before long I noticed one board member spoke negatively about nearly everything.
No matter what was proposed, he found a problem. “That will not work.” “You have not thought through the cost.” “Here is where this could go sideways.” Frankly, after a while, he began to wear on me.
Finally, I reached out to the executive director and asked, “Why do you keep that guy on the board? He’s always focused on why something won’t work.” The executive director smiled and said, “That is exactly why I keep him around. He points out everything we need to fix if we want our plans to succeed.”
I have never forgotten that response.
The older I get, the more I appreciate people who are willing to tell me the truth. Not harshly or arrogantly, but honestly. If someone can help me avoid a mistake or strengthen a plan, I view that person as a gift.
Of course, advice alone is not enough. Advice can help us choose the right direction, but we need accountability to stay on the right path.
Perhaps you know people who set good goals but end up giving excuses. Perhaps that person is you. Without someone asking good follow-up questions, it’s easy to drift off course.
Accountability Keeps Us Moving
One thing to remember is that technology cannot replace human accountability. A calendar app can remind us of our goals, and a fitness tracker can count our steps, but tools such as those cannot look us in the eye and ask, “You said this mattered. What happened?”
I was fortunate to have my first true mentor decades ago. I found it so valuable I made a career out of coaching others. Over the years, I have tried to practice what I preach, asking trusted people to speak into my life. When I keep that habit, life tends to go better. When I neglect it, I usually pay for it.
One of the simplest accountability arrangements I ever created came after I moved to a new state. I wanted perspective from someone who knew the community and understood business.
Thus, I approached a respected businessman and said, “I would like to buy you lunch every other week. You can pick the restaurant, but the topic of conversation is going to be me. All you need to do is ask me questions.”
He agreed, and those lunches proved invaluable. He asked questions and challenged my assumptions. He pushed me to clarify my goals. Most importantly, he kept me from coasting.
That is what good accountability does. It moves us from good intentions to real action.
If you want to grow, you need people in your life who will do three things: encourage you, challenge you and tell you the truth even if the truth is inconvenient. That person might be a mentor, coach, peer, trusted friend or supervisor. The title matters less than the function.
Also, do not assume you only need one person. You may need different voices for different areas of life. One person may help with planning and leadership. Another may help with finances. Another may help with health or spiritual growth. Another might speak to issues you face within your family.
Bottom line, no man or woman is an island. We all need counsel, and we all need correction. Said more succinctly, we all need accountability.
So here is a question worth asking: What would you do if you were not afraid? And after you have an answer for that, the next question is, “Who can you invite into your life to help you do it well?”
Allow me to restate that ancient proverb: Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. •
Daniel Bobinski has a doctorate in theology and is a best-selling author and a popular speaker at conferences and retreats. For more than 30 years he’s been working with teams and individuals (1:1 coaching) to help them achieve excellence. He was also teaching Emotional Intelligence since before it was a thing. Reach him by email at DanielBobinski@protonmail.com or 208-649-6400.
