By Manny Roman
In an article titled “3 ways to respond to difficult questions you don’t want to answer,” former diplomat Eileen Smith provides excellent advice for handling a difficult situation. Who has never been asked a question that they are not prepared to answer? Whether we don’t know the answer or don’t want to provide the answer, the question puts us in a difficult situation which can cause much stress. Unless, of course, you are a diplomat or a politician with great experience and training. At which time you go into the “sound like you are answering” even though you are not.
The very first statement in the article says, “Anticipate difficult questions and practice saying your responses out loud before the big day.” Key here is the “out loud” part. By saying things out loud, you will hear the tone, pitch, clarity, sincerity, etc. Speaking it allows for modification and restructuring that would not be noticed if you only gave thought to the answer. I once heard that the use of words that contain more syllables is better than the often used words. The reason: Infrequently employed words preserve their connotation for unambiguous elucidation. (It took me 43 minutes, a dictionary and a thesaurus to write that sentence.)
When you don’t know the answer to the question
Ms. Smith explains that, if you do not know the answer, the first step is to say what you do know. Even if you do not know the answer there is likely something relating to the question that you do know. Zoom out until you find something relating to the question that you can speak on. If that doesn’t apply, then state the information you will need to have before you can answer the question.
Question: “How long will it take to fix the machine?”
You could say, “How do I know? I can’t perform a Vulcan mind meld with the machine.”
Answer: “I’m not sure. I will need to make some checks first and I will get back to you. Where will you be in about 45 minutes?” The where will you be part is important to allow the service professional to get away. Of course, if they actually reply with an answer such as, in my office or wherever, then you better get back with additional information.
When you don’t want to answer the question
Ms. Smith states that you should not ignore the question, instead use a transitional phrase. Acknowledge the question and redirect the conversation toward a similar answer.
Question: “Who are you, Billy always takes care of us?”
You could say, “I was the only one there.”
Redirecting answer: “It is our policy to send the most qualified, available professional so we can get you back up as quickly as possible. May I take a look at the machine?”
When the question is an attack or challenge
Ms. Smith advises to prepare the answer for as many possible questions as you can without acknowledging any negative words thrown your way.
Here I would advise that you determine whether there is a real concern or an unrealistic expectation. Remaining distant from the attack is important. Is the person upset about disrupted patient care, loss of income, loss of time, etc.? Address the issue not the words that were spoken.
In my presentations, I always advise that, prior to any encounter, you should determine and be prepared to answer at least 10 likely questions. Also, be prepared to NOT say at least 10 boneheaded things like “Who sold you this?” or “Boy, are you in trouble?” or “I have never seen this machine before.”
In closing, I give you a quote from Mr. Miyagi in the “Karate Kid” movie. He tells Daniel San that the “best way to avoid punch no be there.” Best way to avoid difficult situation, prepare to “No be there.” •
Manny Roman, CRES, is association business operations manager at Association of Medical Service Providers.
